A few social rules which may help us!

Who do you admire? What are the special traits that attract you when you are with others? These two questions can draw vague answers. One can say it depends on individuals. Well, that’s true. But we should identify the kind of behaviours that make us happy. I often feel helpless when I come across certain demeanours that make me low. One should be aware of certain social etiquettes when we belong to a group called a civilised society. Hence, I started penning down some points that I thought are important to be followed. These are not rules, but certain gestures which, if applied appropriately, may help both sides.

 

The society is an ever-evolving system; it keeps on changing at a slow but steady pace. The social practices that are considered good today may not be appreciated seriously 50 years after. Again, some other practices which were once marked harmful to hold the society may have been included in the modern way of living decades later. Hence, it’s difficult to say which ones are the best, or worst practices. The following rules should not certainly find a place in one’s daybook, and therefore, can be taken light-heartedly. One can either adopt them or just throw them out with a blow!

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1.      If a neighbour or a colleague tells you that he/she has an appointment with a doctor, don’t bombard him with questions like, “What happened to you? Is there anything serious? I didn’t know that you have a health issue!” Such questions will only upset him/ her.  You can just say "I hope you’re alright. Do let me know if you need any help." Inquisitiveness is a mental disease and may often pose a threat. Personal illness is a strictly personal matter. One may feel uncomfortable if asked about health issues. Be compassionate.

 

2.      We are an expressive band of chatterboxes. We speak out a lot what is inside. But that often causes irritation on the other side. It’s alright that you want to pour out your mind but try not to interrupt the next one who is speaking. Let him finish his sentences unless it troubles you too much. You will get your turn soon after the next one. Your patience should surpass your pain.

 

3.      A friend or a family member has invited you to dinner in an upscale restaurant. Well, you think this is the time to relish the taste of some scrumptious dishes. But hold on, friend. Try not to order an expensive plate shown on the menu card. It’s someone who is treating you with dinner. The courtesy is we should be moderate and not cross that line.

 

4.      You may need to speak to someone urgently, but the phone you are calling are either engaged or it’s going unanswered. What will you do? My suggestion is that it’s better not to call more than twice continuously. If he/she doesn’t answer, presume the person is occupied with some other important work. He/she will call you back.

 

5.      Weight often makes us wonder. Take a situation when you meet a person, who you think is obese. It’s not a good idea to give him/her advice on losing weight. You will gain his/her attention if you say, “You look pretty good in this dress” or “This casual shirt perfectly suits you”. He knows he is overweight, and you don’t need to remind him.

 

6.      Unsolicited advice and unwanted question can have the same effect. Asking someone’s age and salary, unless for very a special reason, should be a big No No. It’s his life and his money – you can’t do anything in that.

 

7.      Haven’t you come across questions like “Why aren’t you married yet?” or “Are you in an extramarital relation” or “When do you plan to have kids?” or “Why don't you buy a car?”. These questions are considered highly embarrassing, even offensive. Since it isn’t your problem, it’s better to curb your curiosity level.

 

8.      Are you in hurry to enter the room? However, courtesy demands that you keep the door open for the person standing behind you. It can be he or she/ senior or junior. This small gesture won’t belittle your stature.

 

9.      Suppose you are shown a picture on someone’s mobile phone. Look at that, but don’t swipe left or right out of curiosity. You never know what comes next, and it may not be appreciated.

 

10.  Teasing, even in the friendliest way, may not be enjoyable by many. Try to understand the impact of it in a mature way. If you notice that the person does not seem to like your tricky words, stop doing that and never do it again.

 

11.  In a society, you are expected to be with multi-opinionated people. It’s necessary to respect others’ opinions and beliefs even if you don’t appreciate that. Listen to other’s opinion and try to move on to the next topic if you aren’t comfortable. This may help him realize your situation and respect your opinion too.

 

12.  Eye contact is important even for an informal conversation. If you have your sunglasses on, and you meet a friend or a neighbour on the road, remove your black glasses. It shows your politeness. Same applies to your cap or hat.

 

13.  Treat your domestic help with the same respect as you behave with your boss. Your rudeness isn’t a sign of your position on the social ladder. Rather you will be admired if you treat your subordinates with respect and dignity.

 

14.  Never exhibit your wealth or talk about your bank balance to someone who isn’t so rich.  Remember the situation can also be applied on you, and you won’t like that. Be humble and sympathetic to others’ social parameters.

 

15.  Always remember to return your borrowed money before it is asked for. Same goes with books, umbrellas, pens or notepads. Your integrity and character shouldn’t be compromised.

Never to forget

• Say “thank you” whenever you are helped.
  
• Praise publicly but criticize privately.
  
• When someone is speaking to you, don’t stare at your phone.
  
• Mind your own business.
  
• Answer the emails with a “thank you”.
  
• Your appreciation of others matters A LOT.
    

There are other rules too and of course you can create your own. I also know that you may not like all that I have included in the list. However, believe me these are some basic rules which we can start with and make the list longer for ourselves. They will make you happier. Ultimately those will benefit you and me.